HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with copies of 'Guns and Ammo Magazine'.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition.
Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls....they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all 4 of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside,