i wanted to send each of you my online Christmas card, so here it is:

 

Love, Regina
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A NEW HOLIDAY ATTITUDE? (a small rant and some advice)

i went out to walmart tonight, to pick up prescriptions, Christmas cards, a phone card, and a gift card. i had already set my mind to having a good attitude because 1) i was afraid because i don't drive at night due to night blindness 2) i knew there would be hoards of people in the store 2) things would be picked over this close to Christmas 3) and last but not least, having a good attitude when in public is how i can be the best example to others. over the past year, my visits to the pharmacy in walmart haven't been pleasant. i have had problems of all sorts with the staff in there, so was expecting the worst, but hoping for the best. the girl who waited on me was chipper, and had a great attitude. she made my night......while i waited on my prescription, i shopped for the other items i came for. the store was busy but not overly crowded. i found an abundance of items i needed, instead of the scarcity i expected. i went back to the pharmacy to pick up my medication and to pay for all my items. after checking out, i realized i hadn't purchased the gift card. so i got one, got back in line and was in and out of that line in mere minutes, and the clerk was pleasant enough. i got into my vehicle, started out of the lane, and started to turn into the flow of traffic in the main lane in front of the store when someone with a buggy crossed in front of me, leaving me halfway into the lane of store traffic. i waited patiently for the couple to cross, but an explorer came flying to my driver's side, and laid on the horn...........ok, i was already in the lane before he even got near me, so actually, i had the right of way. where was that Christmas spirit? so i rolled down my window (his was already down) and as he shot me a bird.....i yelled out to him "have a wonderful Christmas my friend, and may God richly bless you and yours". he probably didn't give a dang what i said....but i felt better. i got back out on the main road and stopped at bojangles to get fried chicken for supper. went in, was told the breasts would take 5 minutes, so i said i would wait. it was already dark anyway, and that was my biggest fear....driving after dark. the chicken came up in about 5 minutes, and the girl in the drive-through window lined up 11 boxes and started filling them from the new batch of chicken. i thought maybe one of those was mine. nope. so i went up and told them i had been waiting almost 15 minutes, and the chicken i had been waiting for was being used for the drive through. all the tickets were jumbled up, and my ticket was over by the cash register, never having even been put in the line of order. the guy making biscuits apologized (and it wasn't even his fault) and finally, i got my order and turned to get my free iced tea. after i walked all the way to the exit to get my tea, it was out. so i had to walk back and ask them for some from behind the counter. a young woman had been in line as i went back for my tea, and was on her cell phone, but was also yelling across the line of employees at the counter, to the guy who was frying the chicken. she asked him if he was going to church in the morning. he said yes, he would bring his mother and see her there. she, in turn, said she expected him there for they were having their program. she was dressed professionally, was very attractive, around 25 or so, and i was happy she was mentioning church. i love to see young people going to church. she proceeded toward the door ahead of me, and was walking very slow, talking on her cell still. i patiently walked behind her, even though i was tired, and hungry, and had already waited almost 30 minutes. she stopped right in front of the tea/straw/fork/napkin stand, turned her back to the stand, and just stood there, talking on her phone. i said "excuse me please" and she jumped and spun around, backed up, and i reached up and got my straws. i turned to thank her, and she said to the person on the phone "some white b*tch just knocked me down to get in front of me". i shook my head and went on through the door. but then she started yelling obscenities AT me, as i was going to my car. she was still half in the store, where there were children, and she was supposed to be a church-goer.....i told her i was truly glad she was going to church in the morning, for her soul needed as much help as it could get, and that i would pray for her and her soul. she yelled more profanities, and i said "wow, i bet God really loves to hear that". she used the MF words, told me F-you, and turned completely ghetto on me. goes to show two things.....can't judge a book by its cover, and just because you attend church doesn't make you a good Christian, or even a Christian period. she tried to hit my car with her door, but i flooded the gas and flew backwards, afraid if she got into her car, she would follow me and possibly even shoot me. people....please....at least this time of year, be nice to people. times are hard, people are on edge. tempers flare easily and quickly. pray for these people who think they are safe from the hell fires, but who are only playing church. and evaluate yourself, and your own attitudes toward others. i could have let this get out of hand, and had a stroke standing there arguing and fighting with this woman. she wasn't worth losing my cool over. i wanted to hug her and tell her there is a better way than being angry and eager to attack others. it was as if she was looking for a fight. and i started to give her one, but i didn't. i used prayer and kinder words, which, unfortunately, fell on deaf ears. thanks for listening to my sorta rant.

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AFTERMATH

dishes are everywhere, the kitchen's a mess

the roast sits in my tummy, trying to digest



we didn't have turkey so we wouldn't want to sleep

but we are so full of potatoes and gravy we want to weep



instead of loosening the buttons and the belt

we chose to eat half naked so no pressure was felt



thank goodness it was only the two of us here

for after this meal no one would want to be near



now if only the dish fairy would hurry up and come

i can't do them myself for my body's too numb



the cats are pure worthless, not helpful at all

they are laying out flat, in the middle of the hall



i hope everyone out there had a great time today

now it is time for me....down to lay



©Regina2011

JUSTICE

i figured we all could use a little snicker or two. enjoy....and i didn't write this, just sharing it.

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER
Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

—— Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

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IN REMEMBRANCE OF 9/11/01


Diversity, a common word
Love one another, seldom heard

Then tragedy strikes, bonds the races
Fear, grief, anger, tears on different colored faces

Time elapses, memories fade
Compassionate efforts no longer made

Forgotten and abandoned, left far behind
No longer love, compassion can we find

I do not ask you to relive the hours
When many loved ones perished in the twin towers

I only ask you remember the cause
And take a moment in silence to pause

If we forget those who died on that day
Then terrorism has won, we have lost our way

©Regina2006 (revised 2009)

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THE FIASCO

i was recently cleaning out my emails that i had left on my aol page to possibly open and use later, and i found this from back in april. i had forgotten i had written it. i had planned on posting it back then, but changed my mind, and just let it sit there in aol pergatory lol. but after re-reading it, i felt it had a place here on blogger, so that the few blogger friends i have left can stop by and enjoy a chuckle at my expense. now that i have jogged my memory, this brings back the day in clear and total recall......and i hope it never ever happens to me again..............

sometimes we all have those days we should stay in bed and pull the cover up over our head and sleep. well, i had 2 days like that. and though i actually did spend a great deal of the time IN BED, it didn't help any.

i know i am not alone when i admit to having to have "white noise" in my room in order to sleep. i currently have 2 fans and 1 room air purifier running while i am sleeping. should the sound cease, i awaken immediately. such is the case at 6:36am tuesday. i looked around the room and it was dark. the silence was deafening. i checked outside and there were no lights visible throughout the area. ok, well, that little spring shower must have been worse than i thought. i crawled back under the cover and tried to go back to sleep without noise breaking the silence. and with the purring of one of the two furbabies in my ear, i drifted off once more.

when i awakened again around 11 am, i looked up the power company's number and called to report on and/or check status of the power situation. they were aware of the problem. there was a really bad storm that went through atlanta and headed west to our location near the state line. thousands and possibly a million or so were without power.

i chanced taking my shower (gas water heater) and prepared to leave for the hospital to see my fiance who has been there for 2 months. as i was leaving, i realized the power garage door wouldn't work, so i had to manually open it. i broke 2 fingernails and squished my middle fingertip trying to close the door, as it does not have any outside handles. i visited my fiance, and knowing the power would more than likely not be on when i returned, i stopped and got a taco salad to take home and eat. when i arrived home, i tried to lift the garage door and it was locked in place. great. i have a key for the back door so i went to unlock that and the regular lock worked fine, but the deadbolt wouldn't budge. i almost broke the key off in the lock and nada. i was almost in tears by now. i called a friend who has a key that i know works on both locks, and he didn't answer. i called for 15 minutes and no response. i called my fiance in the hospital room and asked him to call this friend to see if he responded to him. he told me to break a window. well i wasn't going to do that. i went back to the back door and calmly tried again. nothing. i pushed, kicked and shoved the door in all directions and finally the dead bolt worked. of course my taco salad was broken in a million pieces by now and my nerves were completely frazzled. i sat down to eat and called my fiance to let him know i got in.

about 20 minutes later i went to use the restroom (tinkle only) and flushed. as i was washing my hands, one of the cats went flying out of the restroom and i suddenly heard a cascading waterfall........the toilet was overflowing all over the tiled bathroom floor and out toward the carpeted hallway. i grabbed the 2 towels that were in the restroom and they didn't even start to cover the situation. i went to the hall closet and pulled out some large towels and placed them on the floor to soak up the ocean that had formed. i tried to plunge the bowl and more water spilled over. the high tide in the bowl finally went down but i was still afraid of it. i checked out the other restroom and flushed that toilet and it started to overflow, but stopped right before lapping over the rim. ok, so all the rain must have stopped up the drains or the sewage lines. just to be sure i questioned both furrbabies to make sure neither had put a kitty toy or worse into the bowl. one looked innocent and the other, well, she always looks guilty. either way, i worked on the toilet till i thought i had it fixed. i went to the other restroom first and noticed that the paper i had flushed down the overflowing toilet was now in the other toilet. mmmmmmm, there has to be a problem somewhere. after more work on the original toilet, i flushed again..........here comes the waterfall. i grabbed more towels, and before long, i had every towel in the house (seriously) on the floor, i turned off the waterflow to the toilet and tested it again. it flushed. i ran water back in the tank and went to sit down for a few minutes. i was shaking all over. i felt something wet on my lip and wiped at it and voila..........nose bleed. i am on blood thinners so it poured. i hate the site of blood, especially mine, so i felt faint. after getting that under control, i laid down to calm myself. i fell asleep and awoke when my oldest kitty tore into my arm. more blood. she wasn't aware she did this. she has convulsions/seizures in her sleep and lashes out and grabs on. i got up and by then it was dark. i doctored my arm and found all the candles and lit them to allow light in the house, but what for? i couldn't watch tv, i couldn't access the internet, and i couldn't cook anything, even though food was going bad in the fridge. i went back to bed and slept on and off, freezing to death. i awoke at 5:30 am and still no power. i looked outside, and still no lights anywhere. i got up and ate a bowl of cereal and got dressed. i had to be at the hospital for a home-care training session at 10 am so i went on around 9 am. my cell phone, which is the only connection to the outside world i have at the house, was dying so i plugged it into the hospital bathroom's socket to recharge it and visited with my fiance for a couple of hours, got my training and when they came to give him PT i left. i got almost home when i realized i had left my phone in the bathroom. i turned around and went back. i stayed another hour till my fiance's business partner/friend showed up and i left. this time i got into the house with no trouble lol. but i left the garage door open this time. there was still no power. i called the power company again and they told me it would be sometime before midnight. grrrrrrrrrrrr. all the food in the freezer was dethawed and the fridge was getting cool instead of cold. it had already been 32 hours without power. i was so bored i called my daughter to talk lol. she laughed at me and said i was too melodramatic. she would be too if she was in a strange town where they were having something similar to bike week in florida or nascar in georgia and she knew only a couple of folks and her bf was in the hospital, and all this was happening to her.

the power finally came on at 8:38 pm. 38 hours and 2 minutes. yep, i counted every second. i had tv and computer withdrawals and was bored to death. now i have to wash that mountain high pile of towels. fun fun fun. amazing how we depend so much on technology.

i hope all of you have had a better week so far than i have. my fiance gets to come home friday so that is the one bright spot in this week...................

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A J-LAND ANNIVERSARY POST

PLEASE...MAKE SURE YOU READ THE WHOLE ENTRY, WHICH GOES QUITE A WAYS DOWN. THERE IS A LINE UNDER THE END OF THE POST LIKE THIS******************************

recently guido blokland announced on facebook that today, august 21, is the anniversary date of j-land. of course, i don't personally know what date j-land actually started, but i do know that my first entry, my first blog post ever, anywhere, was made on my new journal in j-land, named SEDUCTION OF LIFE, on sunday, june 27, 2004 at 2:00 am. this was a dark time in my life, and i was very depressed, unsure of my future, or if i even had one. little did i know that this first small step would bring me to where i am today. this is the very first entry i made in my journal, SEDUCTION OF LIFE.

MORNING

THE TRAIN WHISTLE CHILLS MY SOUL. IT IS EARLY MORNING. SLEEP EVADES ME. LIFE HAUNTS ME. WHAT IF I WERE ON THAT TRAIN? WHERE WOULD I GO, WHAT WOULD I SEE? WOULD I BE HAPPY? DARKNESS IS EVERYWHERE, EVEN IN THE HEARTS OF MEN. IT DEPRESSES, IT FRIGHTENS, YET, IT IS NECESSARY. WHY? I HAVE NO CLUE. I JUST KNOW THAT WITHOUT DARKNESS, WE WOULD NOT APPRECIATE THE LIGHT. THE EARTH WAS WITHOUT FORM OR LIGHT WHEN GOD CHOSE TO CREATE OUR WORLD. STILL, I WONDER WHY WE SUFFER THE DARKNESS SO. ALAS, ANOTHER OF THE MYSTERIES OF THE SEDUCTION OF LIFE.

Posted by REGINA at 2:00 AM 2 comments

plieck30 said...

Thought I would go back to read your old entries. I like this about the train. Several years ago I went to Illinois to visit my daughter on the train because I had never traveled on one. I just wanted to ride on one once in my life and I enjoyed it. It would have been more fun if I would not have been alone, but I did meet people and talk to people. If you heard about that terrible train wreck and spill in Texas day before yesterday, it was about thirty or forty five minutes away for me. Paula

July 2, 2004 9:36 PM

mzgoochi said...

I love trains. Only ridden one once.

you will notice that i also added in the 2 comments i got from the post. paula, whom i still keep in touch with via email, and mzgoochi......sorry, tears are welling up in my eyes and in my heart......but mzgoochi was lahoma, a really good online friend, with whom i spent many hours emailing and im'ing, talking about our lives, our pasts, our pains, our hopes, our dreams......lahoma succombed to the grim reaper a few years later. and the wound from her passing is still raw........but knowing lahoma made a big difference in my life. i miss you, my friend.

there was a big dash in between this first journal entry, and the last one. this is the last entry i made in the SEDUCTION OF LIFE JOURNAL.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

OLD ENTRIES/OLD FRIENDS/MEMORIES

i was trying to catch up on journal reading before the last curtain call and came across a journal that sorta stirred up something in me. i won't mention the journal name, mostly because this person is a dear j-land friend and is very much entitled to her opinion........as am i. the gist of the entry was that we have all survived much more devastation and turmoils than losing our journals and should not worry about it. i agree mostly with that statement...........but...........yes, there is a but.............

i went back to my first entry which was on june 27, 2004 and started copying and pasting onto word documents in spans of one month at a time so as not to lose anything in my journal. it wasn't very long before i started crying and got a very heavy heart. there are comments in that very first month from people who are no longer in this world........they have passed on to a greater reward. without j-land and my journal, i would have never met some of these people. my life would have been much different without their comments, love, prayers, support, compassion, and advice. i will never have another comment from those people. if i lose my journal's contents, i will lose their words. i will have the memories of knowing these people, but after time fades those memories, there will be little left.

also, i started journaling at a time in my life when i needed a friend and there wasn't one in my real life to help me cope with day to day trials and tribulations. i lost 2 homes to foreclosure and was evicted from a rental house due to circumstances beyond my control. i became estranged with my then 17 year old daughter, and proceeded to watch her from afar live a life i would never wish for her. i found love, then lost it, several times. my journal captured my emotions, my soul. i wrote poetry i have since forgotten about, all to cope with life as it was back then for me. now that i am on higher ground emotionally and financially, i have more or less blocked out much of that past. reading my past journal entries has brought those memories back, and even though they are not the best of memories, the events strengthened me and made me a better person. and by reading my past entries, i find peace in my life now.

so, even though this journaler is correct in saying more or less to not sweat the small stuff........to me, my journal isn't small stuff. it is a record of my life.......one i have tried to forget because of the bad memories, but one that has brought me full circle to where i am today.

i will move on and continue journaling. and someday will look back at my current entries and either smile or cry........but it will be a slice of my life..........MY LIFE..........a life that only i have lived.

and yes, i have every right to be angry with the powers that be at aol. they didn't provide "the service" for free, or out of the goodness of their hearts. they did it at a cost to their customers, both financially and by having so many internal problems that we all became exasperated at one point or another. yes, i will continue on with aol. it is like an old pair of shoes that, when new and first worn, hurt the feet and make life miserable until they are broken in. i have become familiar with aol. i am at a loss at where i will go from here, but i will go................and i will succeed at making a new journal at a new site. i just hate that i will lose so many friends who will not journey down the same road as i.

Posted by REGINA at 9:51 PM 4 comments

sybilsybil45 said...

My dearest Wumz, I so agree with all you have written. It is so so hard. I havn't been writing nearly as long as you and I havn't had the hardships that you have had but all the same there are times when we get a bit "alone" even when we are..as I am...surrounded by great family and friends there are some things that you can write in your journal that you could not share with a friend face to face as you know that they might be hurting too...I know how just a few months ago I was surrounded by so many on line friends praying for me and caring for me when my beloved Jacqueline died that I am perfectly sure that it was there love that enabled me to return to a more positve feeling... Perhaps after I have been away on holiday and come back (27thoct) I will feel stonger and might be able to cope with trying to learn something new. Till then rest assured I will keep in touch dear friend...one way or another. Love Sybil xx

http://journals.aol.co.uk/sybilsybil45/villagelife/

October 1, 2008 11:49 PM

plieck30 said...

If I understand correctly it will all be transferred over to the blogger place and I hope for your sake and others it will. Its been a pleasure to know you here. Paula

October 2, 2008 1:24 AM

jeanno43 said...

I feel the same about my journal. I have not yet started copying and pasting. I might even move some of it onto my new journal at Blogger. O.K. so people have read the entries before but that way at least they are there. I have not yet started the copying because my heart is not in it right now, I know I would cry for the same reasons as yourself. My journal was something for my Grandsons as well. Shame on aol.

October 2, 2008 3:12 AM

Jeannette said...

So glad you commented on mine and that I found you again. I seem to have lost several people here in blogger that have started a blog, then deleted it and started a new one. Great to be back in touch my friend.

October 18, 2008 4:13 PM

fortunately, the commenters here are still alive and well. i keep in touch with all of them, even had a skype phone conversation a year or so ago with sybil. those who had journals and posted both entries and comments became a family, and it will always be that way for me. we are all a big extended family. i miss so many of those who have either chosen to not go further with journals after the fall of j-land or have passed on to a higher plane...but the way we all touched each other's lives is priceless and will live on long after most of us pass on. i am also going to post my first entry into my blogspot blog, which is where i took my journal after j-land passed on........this is from my new blogspot journal, A PAGE UNTURNED.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

A NEW BEGINNING

Due to an aohell breakdown...........I have begun a new chapter in journaling. I must admit I am addicted to my journals..........all 5 of my aol journals, public and private. Now I learn they will disappear if I do not attempt to save and transfer them. I will lose many online friends due to the aol decision to close down journals, which saddens me. Hopefully I will also meet numerous new friends during this transition. So, to all my old friends and acquaintances, I raise my imaginary glass to a long, inspiring and caring relationship on a new blog site. May there be many who tread upon these pages taking whatever they choose from my writings. Welcome to my new journal........take off your shoes, relax and enjoy.

I like the look of your journal, glad you found your way here.
Lisa

October 2, 2008 8:18 AM

Indigo said...

Doing the happy dance. I'm so delighted to find you on this side of the blogsphere my dear friend. (Hugs)Indigo

October 2, 2008 6:20 PM

hannahthemaid said...

hello ...
somehow i found you again
been a long time
i deleted all journals i had on aol
nice to see that you are still into writing

jo ....

October 2, 2008 9:39 PM

that started my new journaling life. i kept at it till hannahthemaid (jo) convinced me to join her poetry site, NOSTALGIARAMBLINGS, and i have more or less made that my home. but after having done this entry, i feel the stirrings inside wanting me to possibly come back to my journaling. i would truly hate to lose more friends from the old times at j-land.

SO, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, J-LAND...........AND MAY ALL WHO ONCE TREAD UPON THOSE PAGES BE BLESSED. J-LAND....JUNE 27, 2004 - OCTOBER 1, 2008.....AND THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING THE DASH IN MY LIFE.



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************************************************

MURDER OF A FRIENDSHIP

Flowery poetry, words passed on

Friendship’s garden lovingly grown

Each new soul brings new birth

Each one has their own worth

Secrets told, memories shared

Pretenses born, as if they cared

One believes in the other’s word

Glad to be able to be heard

Bond seems strong, friendship grows

Deceit begins, but no one knows

Then one day, you know not why

The friendship ends, with no goodbye

It is then you see that all along

Their belief in you was never strong

Behind your back they scoffed and laughed

And probably told others they thought you daft

So sad that friendships end this way

Causing tears to form as down I lay

Too bad they felt I was not true

For lying is something I never do

I have to answer to God above

And He wants me.. others to love

Not spread untruth or be deceitful

But for each friend to be ever grateful

So the murder of a friendship I do mourn

And hope to heal a heart that’s torn

May God grant them love and peace

And help their bitter words to cease

©Regina2011

A QUOTE WORTH READING AND REPEATING

If you can read this... Thank a Teacher.

If you can read this in English... Thank a Soldier!

And for life and everything else you have... Thank God!!

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